so theres this one person who i was very rude to I was going thru like major depressing parts of my life and legit had no chill with anyone so i was like the rudest to her but like i bet she hates me but when i ask she just goes like i don't hate u but she avoids me and says I'm harassing her when I see her on other servers because I was trying to start a convo but she kept leaving so like i just went thru huge drama and i literally was about to kill myself but fast forward like 6 months later I just somewhat got close to her that she didn't run away from me and I asked if we could be friends and she said yes so like ok but still now she still doesn't talk to me and in chat i see her saying hi to everyone but me and it makes me feel like rly screwed bc if I am not good enough for people on Mineverse how am I good enough for the world. Like I have just forgotten about this situation but I know how good of a person she is and just rly want to be able to talk to her and just be close friends because she is so kind and I beg and am jealous for people who are friends with her because I just never really had such a person with so much kindness in them. But she I guess avoids me and even tho we aren't friends when I say hi she says hi and usually leaves or the convo just ends. I just wish I got to know her better. As some of u ppl know I made a mod application (not advertising or some random thing like that just important to the story) so if I ever DID get mod (probably not) i thought I could somewhat be closer idk this is kinda spoiling who it is.. but there was this mod and I asked him if they got closer with her because they were mod and they were just like "Why are you pissing me off like stop getting into my business why does it matter to you just leave me alone" something along the lines of that and they just left. I am really starting to lose it especially because my friends are all gone and rodeen doesn't play on infection i think snipes is quitting for a while Riley only plays at like 2 AM my time and enoch is just gone like for the whole year. I have no chill rn and just believe I improved a ton yet still people just hate me. I do not know if I should be worried about making people happy on just a Minecraft server for I think I lost a lot of my old self from trying to fit everyones needs. At the same time I do believe thru my "teen years" i have gotten to figure out a part of myself fairly fast for if I never got to meet people on Mineverse I probably would be so depressed. I thank this server for that. I am just in general losing interest not only because of the excessive hackers, cussers, spammers, glitchers but I feel like the people on this server give me a bad influence and it will make a lasting effect in my future. I am debating quitting or not I am sure a ton of you would love for me to be gone so I will make a survey and I will keep the survey up for 1 week and if the results say to stay I shall because for sure then I know some people actually care. This will not hurt my feelings I just want the honest truth because I don't know what to do. I just want accurate results so i know if I should quit or not. If you are not comfortable with the topic please just exit out but for those of you who know me or just hate me and want me dead or something this is your time to select "Quit" in the survey. I just need to find my true self for a while and I will come on to vote but not really say hi or stay on for more than 5 minutes. Also if the Quit is the majority then I will just quit for like a month or so something like that and I will be back or maybe it might be longer depends on how fast I find my true self.
