melgrath

Just so you know, you will be asked to leave the funeral if you do a drum solo on the coffin...no matter how epic it is.

Roasting marshmallows is great because it combines dessert and playing with fire.

If your friends tell you not to give in to peer pressure and you don't: technically, you did.

your profile is the most interesting place on the forums :,)

When I was little we didn't have emojis. We had to put smiley face stickers on handwritten letters like a bunch of savages.

Hey :D

Good old melgrath. Playing Pokemon Go?

You're online

ProTip: If you knock on the bathroom door and someone says "One second!" Wait more than one second before entering.

:O Melgrath!

Ducks are just all-terrain chickens.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house

Hey Ctreepio.

<3

Just replaced the cat litter with 44 packs of pop rocks. Now we wait...

Friend: "Did you just fall?" Me: "No, I attacked the floor." Friend: "Backwards?" Me: "I'm talented."

https://youtu.be/PjKJlFMokbI

hahahaha look at this mel

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror-movie. After awhile it won't feel like you're alone anymore.

Someone just honked to get me to get out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

We take it for granted today, but a single Dorito has more extreme nacho flavor than a peasant in the 1400s would get in his whole lifetime.