abbie

JIM: If I left, what would I do with all this useless information in my head? You know, tonnage price of manila folders? Pam's favorite flavor of yogurt, which is mix berry.

Cut to Pam, eating yogurt at her desk

Cut to Pam, talking to the Camera

PAM: Jim said mix berries? Yeah he's on to me.

MICHAEL: No no, no Stanley, no you did not see me in there with her. I said, if corporate wants to come in here, and interfere then they're gonna have to go through me, right? You know, you can go a mess with Josh's people, but I'm the head of this family, and you ain't gonna be messing with my chillen.

Cut to Jim, talking to the Camera

PAM: I was in the meeting with Jan and she did said that it could be this branch that gets the axe.

MICHAEL: Pam? Maybe you should stick to the ongoing confidentiality agreement of meetings.

DWIGHT: Pam, information is power.

STANLEY: So you can't say for sure whether it's gotta to be us or them.

DWIGHT: On his mother's grave.

MICHAEL: Well, eh no. Yeah it is a promise, and frankly I'm a little bit insulted that you have to keep asking about it.

STANLEY: It's just that we need to know

MICHAEL: Hold on a second, I think Pam wanted to say something, Pam? You had a look that you wanted to ask a question, just then

OSCAR: Yeah, but Michael what if they downsize here?

MICHAEL: Not gonna happen

STANLEY: It could be out of your hands, Michael

MICHAEL: It won't be out of my hands, Stanley, ok? I promise you that.

STANLEY: Can you promise that?

DWIGHT: Permission granted. Go ahead

MICHAEL: Corporate has deemed it appropriate to enforce an ultimatum upon me, and Jan is thinking about downsizing either the Stanford branch or this branch.

RYAN: (outside the conference room, on the phone) I heard they might be closing this branch down, That's just That's just the rumor going around this is my first day I don't really know.

DWIGHT: Please, ok. Do you want me to tell them?

MICHAEL: You don't know what it is!

DWIGHT: Can you tell them, with my permission?

MICHAEL: I don't need your...

DWIGHT: I'm assistant regional manager, I should know first.

MICHAEL: Assistant to the regional manager.

DWIGHT: Ok. Can you just tell me please? Just a whisper in my ear.

MICHAEL: I'm about to tell everybody. I'm just about to tell everyone

MICHAEL: People I respect, heros of mine, would be Bob Hope, Abraham Lincoln, definitely, Bono, and probably God be the fourth one. And I just think all those people really helped the world, in so many ways, that it's, it's really beyond words. It's really uncalculable.

Cut to the conference room

MICHAEL: Now, I know there's some rumors out there, and I just kind want to see'.

MICHAEL: I think I'm a role model here, I think I garner other people respect.

Cut to the office

MIICHAEL: Attention on Dundler Mifflin employees, please we have a meeting in the conference room ASAP

Cut back to Michael

MICHAEL: I'm sorry?

PAM: There's nothing!

MICHAEL: If you are unhappy with your compensation, maybe you should take it up with HR, ok? Not today, ok? Pam just, be professional.

Cut to Michael, talking to the Camera

Tries to leave as Six Million Dollar Man

PAM: What?

MICHAEL: Come on. Six million dollars man, Steve Austin, actually that would be a good salary for me don't you think? Six million dollars? Memo to Jan: I deserve a raise

PAM: Don't we all?

DWIGHT: Downsizing? I have no problem with that. I have been recommending downsizing since I first got here even brought it up on my interview. I say, bring it on!

Cut to Pam's desk, Michael is standing there

PAM: You just still have messages for yesterday.

MICHAEL: Relax everything is under control Yeah, yeah, yeah oh that's important, right. Oh, this is so important, I should run to answer it.

DWIGHT: Safety violation, I could fall and pierce an organ.

JIM: (crosses fingers) We'll see (Dwight smashes all the pencils away with his phone) (to camera) This is why the whole downsizing thing just doesn't bother me.

Cut to Dwight, talking to the Camera

DWIGHT: It's overlapping. It's all coming over the edge. One word, two syllables : demarcation.

Cut to Jim's desk, he's put pencils between their desks as a fence. Dwight arrives

DWIGHT: You can't do that.

JIM: Why not?

DWIGHT: What?

JIM: What are you doing?

DWIGHT: Just clearing my desk, I can't concentrate

JIM: It's not on your desk.

Cut to Pam's desk

PAM: (on phone) Dundler Mifflin this is Pam.

Cut to Jim's desk

JIM: (on phone) Sure, Mr. Davis, let me call you right back. Yeah, some just came up, two minutes. Thank you very much. Dwight, what are you doing?

Cut to Pam, talking to the Camera

PAM: I don't think it would be the worst thing if they let me go. Because then I might It's just, I don't think it's many girls dream to be a receptionist. I like to do illustrations, mostly water color, a few oil pencil. Jim thinks they're good.

RYAN: Ryan Howard from the temp agency, set me down to start today

MICHAEL: Howard, like Moe Howard, Three Stooges? Right here, my vibe. (imitates Moe, high fives Ryan) Oh Pam, that's a guy thing Pam. I'm sort of a student in comedy. Watch this, here I go. (imitates Hitler) I'm Hitler, Adolf Hitler

MICHAEL: No, absolutely. Under this regime, it will not leave this office.

Cut to the office, Ryan just arrived and Michael walks to him

PAM: This is Mister Scott.

MICHAEL: Guilty, Guilty as charged.