your best jokes!

comment with your best joke!

mine:

teacher: what do you think is gonna happen 3 years from now?

me: i dont know, you see, i dont have 2020 vision :')

 

What is dead when it comes out of the shower, black when it comes out of the shower and smell of gas that it comes out of the shower

you guess it alone.

 

Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on Arbroath
beach was asked to identify her.
A detective held up the head to which Paddy said "I don't think that's
her, she wasn't that tall"

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Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.
Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm
mad!"
He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHTBULB!
I'M A LIGHTBULB!" Murphy watches in amazement!
The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home" So he leaves the site.
Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
"Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman.
"I can't work in the friggin' dark!" says Murphy.

==============================================

Paddy on death row gets the choice to be shot, hung or injected with the aids virus. He says 'Give me that aids stuff'. They inject him and he starts rolling around the floor laughing. The warden asks 'what's so funny Paddy' to which Paddy replies 'I'm wearing a condom'

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Q. What's a Catholic priest and a pint of Guiness got in common?

Spoiler

A. A black coat, white collar and you've got to watch your arse if you
get a dodgy one!

 

your best jokes taken from the internet*

 

What rated movie does a pirate see? A movie rated R!

 

How does Moses make coffee?

Hebrews it.

 

Pile: By the way how do we pronounce your name? Pueple?
Charisa: "poople"
@Charisa

 

I DID NOT COME UP WITH THAT.

 

Only whovians will understand :^)

 

Is this a story or a joke?

 

Both I guess. They're all separate tho, I could have made that a little more obvious.

 

this is pretty much my sense of humour unless i go dark:

 

Does Lightning McQueen get car insurance or life insurance?

 

@Policy

 

Please no jokes about Mexicans climbing the border

 

Would that be crossing the line?

 

if we guess it we'll get banned lmfao

 

@hotcheeto
@Pile
@Primitive

all jokes lolllll

 

I dont know just dont post Mexican jokes lol

 

you know, you shouldn't tell people not to do something because then they just wanna do it