sigh let's begin. Well hello, I'm Pastel. AKA: PastelLoser, SkinnyLove, LlamaHoe_, and * sigh *, theminecraftgal6. Before I begin, I know I have said that I hate these threads amazingly, and let me say, it's still true, I despise them, but at this point I feel like I've hurt some people, and not even known about it. Let's get started. I just wanna start on a clean slate, I don't wanna be known as the voice-cracking, getting banned purposely for spamming a mod saying ' kys ', for making inappropriate threads, I just wanna be known as Pastel, and the other names will go further from there. More like a new chapter in a book, the things will always be behind of me, but things continue, the story will continue. Im still me, just a newer version of me. Going onto the voice-cracking topic, I was probably just going / hitting puberty when those videos were posted, I was not as mature nor was I at the correct age to say the things I said. By the age of 12, i was already moaning in teamspeak and skype calls for people and discussing inappropriate topics, thinking it was an amazing and funny thing to do, and with no lie, it made people laugh, but on the inside of my head one word kept repeating. " Immature " This hurt me, but knowing that people actually kind of enjoyed the things I was saying, I continued. Because I cared what other people thought, I cared what people said, I cared what people laughed at. I made jokes out of other people to own the title of " Savage. " I need to learn that just being me will give me my own title. An original title. A title named " Pastel ". From my immature thoughts, it's funny to say that I know that they'll be people in the comments saying " lol you just cant grow mature in a week. " well it's been since June, that's when I started growing into the weird ' hey im rude and i love it ' phase. I have grown, I'm a tad bit more mature now. I know that other people have emotions also, and I feel bad for what I have done and what I have said. These past months, just for my behavior, I have lost people I loved, people I cared for, and I'm not going to say that it was all my fault, because being real, some of it was other people's faults, but I decided to take it to a next level and out burst because of this, I would scream at people and tell them to slit their wrists or kill themselves, and I feel horrible for it. I feel horrible for saying that people should kill themselves. I feel horrible for being friends with transphobic and homophobic people, watching them make fun of someone for it, and then watching them saying " wow you should draw something on your wrists till you black out " and just saying that I agreed, I said that the person should kill themselves, because I wanted to be friends. I wanted to be " cool" but judging people for what they are, is not the way to do it. It's crazy to think that person is a mod now, isn't it? -- I'm sorry for deciding to be rude and unfair to others just because I thought I was cool or I wanted to claim a title, I will def. grow much much more mature, but before I do, I have to say I'm sorry. I don't care if people comment on this, or heck, even read it. As long as there's proof out there that I know with what I have done is super wrong to others, I'm happy.
Apology accepted It doesn't matter that you made mistakes, as long as you learn from them. Which I believe you have.
i do remember you calling me something, or being rude to me, but to be absolutely honest, I don't think this thread got me to forgive you, because I forgave you from the very start. I can hardly remember what you did as well, so really I can't hold a grudge if I can't remember what happened. tis really sweet you made this for the community, and i'm sure everyone is glad you made this ❤
It's better to be known for being a kind person rather than the opposite. Many people on here have a bad past, but if people allow them to put it behind, they can overcome it and the person can actually change with time. I believe you'll do good with your choice and become nice (Though, you never personally said anything hurtful to me), people will hopefully be happy to see this change from you. :')
