I really don't know. I've been juggling around my entire life. I don't know what I'm doing I'm not ever really happy. Sometimes I feel like, this isn't worth it... There are things that I have done that I regret. I have said to myself or done something bad that I regret. I can't even put them all down here but here are a few things... Whenever poke got mod. I was jealous, like very. I was so mad and I didn't understand why he got it. MrParkourGuy got it. Liek wtf I said to myself, how does a kid who just literally has been living for only a decade get mod. Now mineterria I was actually happy for him People who want to be mod, on mv or on infection, they act so like responsible and mature like WTF I hate that it's so ANNOYING. I want mod, just me I don't want anyone else to get it. It was the most guiltiest thought I had said. But it doesn't mean I'm power hungry since I've only tried out for mod twice... I've been jealous of some of my friends who fall in love with my other friends. Liek poke loves gumi and the entire world knows taht. And I was like, no no no, I want her now, but I never really felt in love and yes I'm not trying to convince her to love me anymore. Then there's Firo and alma >.> I just wanted her because I got to know her AND she had been my friend way before Firo has been. I tried to pass myself off as my sister and insult him... This happened last night. I have no friends. Literally. No one talks to me and no one really likes me. Honestly, if I had a chance to start over I'd probably move to Seattle. Am I gay or straight. I don't know, I don't know anything about it. I've never kissed a girl and honestly I've been turned on sometimes buy men. I don't know which one I am. I probably won't know until I kiss a girl or a guy... Yes I've tried to commit suicide. I've been in a hospital once for 4 weeks and that didn't help. I cut my wrists one say after leaving. It happened last year and I'm still trying to recover Like I've said, some of the things I regret above and things I'm going through. I've turned to Katy Perry because she has inspired me. Her music inspires me She has some music that is sad but it's literally telling my story You know what I do every morning when I wake up? I go to the bathroom and lay on the floor. And think, "how will my day go? Will I get angry at my mom? Will I be bullied again at school? Will I kill myself tonight?" In fact, I have never told my mom or dad what I went through. When I was admitted into the hospital. It was my neighbors who took me. I told my parents I was going to go on a school trip to another state. I asked my neighbors to grab my stuff because they were also "going with me" on the trip. When I came back and cut my wrists, I just covered them up. I bandaged and used gauze and my parents didn't notice because I took them off whenever I was with my family. I hid my Wrists so thy wouldn't see. ------------------------------------ If you hate me because of what I've said its fine... I go through stuff just like everyone else. My Question is: Who am I living for... Anyways. Bye
Don't worry. Life will knock you down time after time and it's not how much you can hit, it's how much you can get hit and keep moving. You're life's too young for you to do anything bad to yourself and soon enough you'll regret it. Try to civilise with the world and do something you like with the rest of the world you enjoy.
Why do you say you have no friends? I'm your friend and I know there are other people who are friends with you... ;-;
Interesting.... but jarroyonaples some may say your really interesting to talk to and your very nice around everyone :>
Please don't feel like that! <3 We all love you here! And most of all, no quitting! I'll miss you sooo sooo much!!! I hope you get my love, but just in case... <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 For you~
I Know Exactly How You Feel! But God Made Your For Something! Don't Think That Way! Everyone On Here Cares About You!! ^.^
I don't see the point of this... You act like no one likes you then start insulting yourself. You were perfect yesterday, then I woke up and you started acting suicidal and angry. Now that I look at this, it almost looks like a case of "Can I be mod? Otherwise I will leave". I don't like it when you are stating it like that. In some versions this post is very serious. In others, it looks like you are just fishing for compliments. I am sorry if this seems harsh... Regardless, you should never feel that no one likes you. Even if you are the most wanted guy in FBI history, it you are content with yourself you should feel happy.
It's ok. I've looked at it through your point of view and deleted that part of me literally saying "can I be mod" It sounds bad to me after re reading that part I understand that not everyone will agree with me but it's ok...
Hey Jarroy? You know the bit about your friends loving each other? I wuv yooou! I just don't say it often enough. <3
There have been moments. I can relate to you, but not all the time. Blue, people are bipolar, (Not saying Jarroy is), but people don't feel like sharing one day, then they next they feel like they do need to. I have been like this. He may be using a shell. No one really knows any of this except him though. That's all I have to say. And, <3 Jarroy. Feel better. Like Pile told me, life gets better.
Atleast you are honest. I do see where you are coming from. Today wasn't my day either. Just hang in there and it unwraps into a better ending.
It's perfectly normal to feel jealous sometimes, as long as you hold out hope and don't let these feelings overwhelm you, everything will be fine. Please don't feel unwanted :/ Anyways, I'm still your friend, and if you need any help you can always talk to me about anything. I'm sure many other people here would say the same thing. Keep your head up, the tough times will pass eventually. c: However, I would have appreciated it if you didn't announce me and Firo to the whole world.
