its nice to see recreational writing dialogue should end in a comma if the sentence doesnt end there ex. "Okay, how about we take the side ways," Josh suggested. if a question mark or exclamation mark is being used though, you don't need the comma watch out for unnecessary commas when writing dont worry though, i used to and still do use too many unknowingly you just gotta read through your sentences and ask yourself if you really really need that comma there your writing is better than some of the kids in my senior class tbh as you read more books and get older, youll gain some sick vocabulary n better syntax for writin ur book also you should find a knowledgable pal that can proofread for you an extra set of eyes tends to find mistakes more thoroughly than your own good luck :+)
yea and also be sure to re-read. I can't stress this highly enough and I've made mistakes from not re-reading my own pieces of text. You made a few mistakes, mostly regarding grammar. shud be also, when something serious is happening, make sure you give the reader some tension. I noticed towards the end, when there was that "loud thump", you didn't exaggerate it or dramatise it. Maybe do something like Things like this can make a great difference, in my opinion. If you plan on starting a novel with some conflict, fill the reader in on what started it on the first place. I was confused and didn't rlly know what was going on and had to read some more. This can be good, but if you still need to give SOME info. Other than that the story is really nice and I like how it's trying to get the readers to infer on what is going to happen or what did happen. Good luck w the novel~!!
*Than *To A quick Google for the differences will help you understand homophones, like these. Great job so far :^). Like Leafu said before, you should definitely read books whenever you have free time. Like cut out TV time and read books instead. They really do help improve your vocabulary. If a book is too easy for you, finish it and move to a harder book. Research the book for age recommendations to challenge yourself. And remember, show the reader, don't tell them. Let the reader experience the story through words, actions, and thoughts. Versus through the author's plot and summarization.