Ask Walrus

Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there’s a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I’m different. On December 14th, I’m moving to Antartica; home of the greatest walruses. I’ve already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. If you have any questions or maybe advice, just keep replying to this thread. Thank you all so much!

F.A.Q (Frequently asked questions) :

Who is AskWalrus?
AskWalrus is a lonely walrus that someday wants to achieve the ranks of one of the greatest walruses that ever lived. Just kidding, it's just a fictional character made by Rakion because he's bored.

How did you cut off your arms?
A banana?

Are you Jason?
Who the hell is Jason?

Did you know that Michael Phelps is secretly a walrus?
No way, show me proof.

 

Nice introduction (Can you bring me in your bag to antartica?)

I suggest you ask a mod to change this post to the right section of the forums, Introductions.

 

It's not an introduction, it's like a Q&A. That's why it's called "Ask Walrus".
Sure, but you need to have your arms cut off as well. With a banana.

 

Ohh, well im not sure if you sre a real walrus.

MPG get back on your real account

Jk ily

Or do i

You can't tell

Cause im to op

 

Walrus is disappointed. Very disappointed.

 

How will you play soccer when you're a walrus? Do walruses play soccer?

 

You don't need hands to play soccer unless youre a goalie. So yes, I do.

 

Im blind •_•

 

I took medicine and achieved a doctor's degree in a university somewhere in Antartica. You have a very serious case of Walrus Flu, you only have a few days left before you turn into one of us.

 

Do you love me?
(yes pls is the correct answer)

On a serious note...
Dear AskWalrus,
Can you take me with you? I'd be hard to cut my wings off, but y'know, I'd love to come. It'd be epic! I'd be like HONK HONK and you'd be like BARK BARK and we'd be bffs. Like serious, dawg.
Love from,
Mining the Goose

 

Yes. They have a place for Goose near my home in Antartica. I'm sure we can do a meet up ;)
Also, don't worry about the wings, we have flippers. It's practically the same thing.

 

Some of my best friends are walruses. I like you

Can we agree kittens are the superior species?

 

Dear Walrus,
Lately I have been waking up and seeing my dog looking out the window, as if he is sad. Then when he sees a squirrel he would just take a nap. He isn't acting like himself lately, is something wrong with him?

Dear Walrus,
I just found a 20$ bill in my sock, should I be concerned?

 

Kittens can't belly flop. Check. Mate.

I was watching some Cesar Millan episodes in Antartica, thank god we have cable! He just probably needs some attention.

It's a blessing from the heavens given to you by Walrus Christ, it's good juju. Cherish it and be proud.

 

How are you typing if you have flippers?

 

You'll never know.

 

Dear Walrus,

Should I be worried if I start puking raw banana peels?
Blueberry said I should ask.

 

Not at all, it's normal for a pubescent hat to puke raw banana peels because this means you are reaching puberty. Don't worry about it at all, it's natural. Trust me, I know, i'm a Walrus.

 

Keep asking questions, i'll be here all day.

 

Dear Walrus

Is it possible to choke someone with only a milk carton?